"The Tristan Story"

A funny experience that I have encounter over Winter Break 'o9.

I call this "The Tristan Story".

So, my friend Kalika called me one night and was like, "Hey, do you want to go to a party at Anthony's?" And, I was like, "Sure... is it a big party or a little party?" She replied, "Anthony says it supposed to be a party, didn't really specify." Either way I was game.

Kalika and I rolled up with two other mutual friends that went to our high school. We were anticipating it to be a big party. But, when we walked in, we realized it was more of a small get together. Anthony and three other friends. The boy to girl ratio was 1:1. We knew what was up.

When we rolled up, we saw this guy posting up on the pool table in a PNC bank uniform. I mean, I guess that's cool (sarcasm). The kid lived 15 minutes away, he could have went home and changed and come back. Personally, I just wouldn't drink in work clothes.

Later in the night, Anthony was pouring me a drink near the bar where Tristan was. After he finished pouring me the drink, Anthony left. Then Tristan asked something. I knew what he said, but I wasn't a 100% sure and I wanted him to say it again to confirm what I thought he said; so, I simply asked, "What?"

Tristan repeated his question. He asked, "Are you a dike?"

I kid you not, he asked that. I was appalled that he would ask such a question like that. One because I was dressed really cute. And, two, because I'm not. But, I knew this was his way of trying to catch my attention... in a really weird way (he accomplished it alright).

Majority of my friends being guys, I know when guys are trying to get a girl's attention.
I responded, "Really? Is that how you are going to hit on me?"
He replied, "Why do you think I'm hitting on you?"
I asked, "Do you really think I'm a dike?"
He replied, "No."
Few minutes of awkward silence was broken by him asking, "How do you suppose that I pick up a girl?"
I answered, " Well, I don't know. Compliment her. Make her laugh. DON'T insult her."

I left to the bathroom after that. I came back downstairs. Walked by the bar.

Tristan then says, " You're really beautiful you know."
I responded, "Thanks. " I'm already turned off by this guy so anything he says has no effect on me. But, good looks on taking the advice and complimenting the girl.
He then (PREPARE YOURSELF for this next line) said, " You condition and moisturize very well."
I could not help but laugh, but I didn't want to be mean; so, I just said my thanks and smiled and walked away.


Here is my piece of advice to you guys out there. Don't EVER insult a girl by asking she is a dike (being drunk is no excuse). And, just compliment her or make her laugh. Or, otherwise you'll end up like Tristan. Twenty years old with no game.